The Loss of Victory
by Peeta Melark
Summary: Catching Fire from Finnick's point of veiw.


**Since I'm new with this thing, this is all gonna be one big chapter! Sorry!  
**

**CATCHING FIRE (FINNICK'S POINT OF VEIW)**

I can't believe I'm alive in the first place. Second: I don't have to think twice about _why_ I am a living legend here.

I am _beautiful. _I don't really care though. Let all the poor tributes live in my opinion. Don't hurt a dust speck on them. Not. One.

Here I was, about to be slammed in another arena with _victors. _I knew everyone hated it…a lot. I know I for one was not too happy about it. Not at all. I knew I would be dressed in an inappropriate way for the chariot. _Sure. Why not? _

I hate the Capitol anyway, so it's not worth screaming anymore. It's over for me. Over. Over. Over. The word echoes in my head. It scares me. I want to curl up in my mummy's lap and fall asleep, but sadly, when you're twenty-four, it doesn't work.

_I hate them. I hate them. What did they do to my poor Annie? Why did they do this to me? I am forced to be the boy toy of tons of the Capitol people! How can they __**dare**__ do this to __**me**__? _

I care about the outfit. I don't want to be dressed that way! Yeesh! I hate them. I want them all gone.

I meet Katniss before the rides. I am dressed awfully, in a golden net, knotted appropriately. I offer her sugar. What else can I do? I feel so awkward, and I know she does too.

"No thanks!" she says to my hand, "I'd love to borrow your outfit though!"

"Ha ha ha!" I say, "I think I should go now."

I walk away to my spot in the line. My chariot is awful. I don't know how many people will faint today. I am shivering by the time I get there. It's cold-ish! _What _are they _thinking_? _Ha ha! They don't! _I think.

My chariot begins to move now and I can see about fifty women faint. _Let them, _I think, _they mean nothing to me. _'

I don't care how much they think of me. Not one matches my Annie's radiance. Sure she's crazy, but so sweet and kind. I don't think the Capitol should dare to cross me now. I am dangerous.

I smile and wave as my chariot goes past the rows and rows of people. Someone throws me a carnation. _Yuck!_ I think, _I __**hate**__ carnations._ I smile in that direction and wave. I might have blown a kiss. About five people faint.

They act so brainless! How can anyone be so dumb! I think I may have been dumb at some point after the games. Who isn't? I hate the way all of their eyes are glued to me. Not caring about my actions, just my good looks.

I am relieved by the time I get away. I hurry to my room, but I do catch a glimpse of Johanna Mason taking off her clothing in front of Katniss and Peeta. _She is one whacky girl._ I think.

My room is deadly. I mean it seems so. I hate this place! I hate the way they dress! I hate their silly accent. I never liked it.

I can remember my arena, how I killed and killed. I felt nothing as I murdered those children in there. That scares me. No guilt, nothing. Nobody but maybe Peeta feels any guilt. He does. I know it. _He was a victor by chance_, I think, aggravated at my own mind. I think meeting all these victors has really taken its toll on my brain and me.

I think I want to cry, but I don't think I can. I think I have to sleep, but I don't want to. I'll be haunted by nightmares, and I'll see the career pack closing in on me, as I throw my last trident. It hit's one in the chest and they fall. As I go to retrieve my weapon, I feel the sword stab my back.

"Ahh-!" the cry leaves my mouth before I can stop it. I'm too tired to care anyhow, so I get up and splash water on my face.

"GET TO THE DINING ROOM, NOW!" someone screeches outside my door.

"Second!" I call. I dress in a simple blue shirt, black jeans and run out the door.

I don't enjoy breakfast. I usually have fish and something else but now all I can have is dumb Capitol food. _Eeewwwww!_ I think. People notice this and ask what's wrong.

"I miss my district's food." I say indifferently.

"Oh," someone hands me a roll from my district, "here."

"Thanks." I mutter. I rub it on my shirt to show how disgusting they are to me.

After breakfast I am ushered to the Training Center. I instantly spot Katniss at knot tying. I walk over and make a noose. As she looks up, I pretend to hang myself with it. She snorts and moves on. _Nice going, Finnick. _I think gloomily.

I would give anything to be her friend, I guess. Is that what I'm doing? Making friends, so I can kill them? _Ha! Yeah right. _I think. I feel sick. Not just nausea, though, a splitting headache. I want to collapse on the ground. I think about doing so and making ten or so people run to my aid, but it seems too childish. I do however, stumble a bit when I start to walk to the next place, archery. Tons of people start to come over, when I say I'm fine.

"I don't really need help." I say, "...But thanks anyway!" I grin, and I swear at least four of them lose their footing for a minute. _Ha ha ha, _I think, _they can't even set eyes on me without tripping! _I feel very sick now, and my very bad aim turns impossibly worse.

When I move on to trident lessons, I can hit the stupid dummy in the head or heart as many times as I throw.

A hush falls over the whole Training Center. I whip around and see that Katniss has shot five fake birds in _one _shot. She's amazing! _Note to self, _I think, _put in a request to have her as an ally_. I really want her on my team, but I also need her to. Haymitch said that if I was to get a lot of us out alive, I was to team up with her. Even if he had not said that, I would've known it. Her ability to hunt and climb trees will help us find food in the arena, as well as help us fight if it comes to that. I don't want to kill many people, but I shall if it comes to it.

I think that if I can get out alive I'll see my Annie again. I have been a victor before, but this is secret, nobody really knows this plot. I know that we need both from 3 on our team. I need to know their names. Wiress and someone else. Nuts and Volts! Those are their nicknames! I need to remember that.

The day of the private sessions goes by in a daze. When I'm called up, I sort of sleepwalk into the room. They all fasten their eyes on me as I walk over to the weapons. _Oh how thoughtful! They threw in a trident! _I think, picking up a bow and arrows. Katniss taught me some archery, though I'm still no good. I fire my arrow and, yup! I hit the edge of the target.

Finally I grab a trident and throw. It hits the dummy in the head.

"You can go now, Finnick." Says a woman with bottle blond hair. _Eeeeew! I bet she dyed it in a pit of boiling acid! _I think. I turn and run from the room, not looking back. I know my score will be,oh...ten or eleven. That woman with the bottle blond ringlets will make sure of it.


End file.
